Recently, one of my good friends Tanya brought over a huge wardrobe she had just purchased at an estate sale. As she was unloading it off her truck I started to literally drool. This thing was filthy dirty, had been painted a hideous yellow, had the remains of a rat’s nest in one of the drawers (if you love to pick antiques you have to love animal droppings), the top was coming off and reeked of who knows what, but I was in love at first sight.
I had been told by Tanya that she was bringing me a piece that she was letting her college-age daughter (Morgan) have since she was going to be moving into a apartment in August. She wanted me to help decide how to fix it up.
I told her as she was pulling the tarp off that whatever she paid I would double, no triple, her money.
She just did her cute little nervous laugh that she does whenever she shows me something she has bought that she knows I’m going to demand that she give it to me. She never let’s me have anything but THIS time I know that she is going to lose this battle. I mean look at this thing!
Does she really think she is going to get away with letting her daughter have it??? “Morgan hasn’t even seen it yet so why show it to her?” , I say. Tanya just keeps smiling and not really saying anything…just smiling and laughing.
So we end up leaving it in my driveway and taking a little trip to Walmart and, as usual, we let our severe ADD take over and stay a little too long. We finally make it out to the parking lot and load our stuff into my car and once again I tell her we need to get back so I can start working on that Wardrobe that she has to sell to me.
Nope, she still isn’t giving in but I have a plan…well, turns out that I used a very unfortunate incident to convince her I needed that furniture, not planned really.
As I was getting in the car I reached down with my left hand to pick up the seatbelt that was stuck and was shutting the door with my right hand and smashed my fingers in the door. Immediately I screamed in agonizing pain while Tanya is frantically screaming “WHAT DID YOU DO?WHAT HAPPENED??! ARE YOU OK?!!OMG”
Something like that anyway, the blinding pain and the stars I was seeing as I was about to pass out is more clear in my memory of the incident.
Even though I was terrified to look at my hand,I did, and we both went into hysterics at what we saw as my finger was obviously bent at an odd angle and obviously broken. She did what any good friend would do, she ran screaming back into Walmart and convinced a clerk that someone was dying in the parking lot and needed immediate help in finding a bag of peas and a finger splint!!!
Anyway, to make a long story shorter, as long as I had her attention and her sympathy I begged through my tears and agony for her to please, please, PLEASE, sell me the wardrobe!!! She quickly agreed so I pulled up my big girl pants, wiped my tears and she drove me home to that big beautiful yellow girl in my driveway, what?what!!!
As I slept fitfully through the night trying to ignore the broken finger I kept trying to figure out how I was going to pick a paint color to paint my wardrobe the next day when there are so many options…listen, I have my priorities, ok?
Anyway, to make a long story, that I was supposed to be making shorter, a little longer, I awoke and realized I needed to let Morgan at least see it and convince her that I was a much better fit for this nasty, ugly, stinky old dresser. So Tanya brought her gorgeous daughter over (she has two impossibly beautiful daughters) and I began the process of getting my way…
Well, as it turns out, Morgan used her supreme cuteness and genuine preciousness and ruthless sweetness to mind wash me into thinking SHE was the better candidate to own this wretched wardrobe. Just like her mother. I had no chance in Hell of ever owning this thing so we picked her paint colors, I helped her paint it, and here is the almost finished bane to my existence…
Just kidding about the bane to my existence thing. Through this enchanted wardrobe I’ve gotten to know Morgan a little better, I’ve realized how truly good of a friend Tanya is, and planted the seeds of possibly owning this thing in a few years when Morgan needs $$$ to get a doctorate degree.
A girl can dream can’t she?
To be continued…